ONARI DUKE ….. A near perfect spouse – how she forced her husband to apologize to an oppressed aide

ONARI DUKE ….. A near perfect spouse – how she forced her husband to apologize to an oppressed aide

ONARI DUKE ….. A near perfect spouse – how she forced her husband to apologize to an oppressed aide

  • ‘’He whofinds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favour from the Lord’’ – Proverbs 18:22
  • “If we want a better world, a world that will be a peaceful home and not a war field, may we take to heart the dignity of each woman”. — Pope Francis.

The Catholic Pontiff, Pope Francis opened the new year with his homily on the female gender requesting the world to – ‘’START AGAIN WITH WOMEN IF HUMANITY’S PROBLEMS ARE TO BE SOLVED’’ Elsewhere, women have been portrayed as ‘’givers and mediators of peace and should be fully included in decision-making processes. “Because when women can share their gifts, the world finds itself more united, more peaceful. Hence, every step forward for women is a step forward for humanity as a whole.”

LESSONS ON UNITY OF COUPLES: Let me start by lifting the veil off the personality of Mrs. Onari Duke because this account will go far on our communication channels as part of our FAMILY VALUES activity. The major essence is to have our teeming readers learn some lessons from this literature of an incredible act of DONALD & ONARI DUKE. Mr. Donald Duke himself told this story; but the glory goes to God, as well as to nature and nurture that brought out Mrs. Onari Duke, spouse of former Governor Donald Duke of Cross River State.

COUPLE: The dictionary meaning of couple is apposite here.   A couple is described as ‘’ a pair of equal and parallel forces acting in opposite directions, and tending to cause rotation about an axis perpendicular to the plane containing them, or  two people who are married or otherwise closely associated romantically or sexually in three weeks the couple fell in love and became engaged”

HUMILITY:  I met Donald Duke a few times in the VIP lounge of the Nnamdi Azikiwe International Airport, Abuja between 2003 & 2007. I never had any formal or informal contact with him but observed a few characteristics that are worth sharing with the public, particularly young ones aspiring to positions of leadership in the public and private sectors. For the young angling for political offices asking the older ones to quit, Donald Duke became a State governor at 38 years. This is a lesson for young ones.  I noticed that he was never arrogant in his dealings with people. I noticed that Donald Duke was never arrogant in his dealings with people.

Each time Mr. Duke’s flight was to depart, Donald would move to the personality I was travelling with; bow and say: ‘’Egbon, O dabo o’.  I saw this happen at least 5 times, and it wasn’t coincidental. But both of them had the same status as State governors and Donald, if he wanted, could have called the personality by his first name,   or even decide to ignore him and hurry away. But both of them had the same status as State governor and Donald, if he wanted could have called the personality by his first name or even decide to ignore him and hurry away.

I had to probe further by delving into his antecedents. Donald Duke was born to Henry Etim Duke, the second indigenous a gentleman from Calabar who was the longest ever serving Controller-General (then referred to as Chairman Board of Customs and Excise duties) of the Nigerian Customs service. He attended Corona School, Lagos and Federal Government College, Sokoto. He received his LL.B degree in 1982 from Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria – Nigeria, the B.L in 1983 from the Nigerian Law Schol, Lagos. He later earned an LL.M. in Business Law and Admiralty in 1984 from the University of Pennsylvania. Facts added together, I concluded that Duke has indeed been brought up in a good home.

WIFE — OWANARI DUKE:: This report was first published in Punch newspapers. In the course of getting more facts, I beamed my searchlight and discovered that the very pretty woman, (Donald too is a handsome man) popularly called Onari Duke (Nee Bob Manuel is a great influence in getting her husband to keep improving on the legacies handed over by the older Dukes.  Onari was born and raised in Port Harcourt, Rivers State, and is a certified mediation/dispute resolution consultant, is also the managing partner of Duke & Bobmanuel, a law firm.

She currently works on an NGO that is mentoring women for future leadership roles, which means she manages an organization with objectives similar to ours that is prosecuting a campaign tagged: FAMILY VALUES. Onari Duke, is an authority in social entrepreneurship. Donald and Onari met as students in the faculty of Law at ABU, but Donald was a year ahead of her. Onari told Punch newspaper in an interview that ‘’I met him the same day I arrived campus to register. ’He was campaigning for student union elections when he spotted me. After he was done campaigning, he came back to me and we chatted. We were friends for a long time before we decided to get married.” On the success of the union, she says, “If you love God and love the fact that He loves marriage, it puts your union in a cruise state. When you approach marriage from that perspective, you will begin to appreciate your partner and overlook his errors because we are all humans after all.”

 UNIQUE CHARACTERISTICS OF ONARI DUKE WORTH EMULATING – TESTIMONY BY DONALD DUKE

This is from Donald Duke:   A former governor of Cross River State (published verbatim as forwarded by Funmi Sanusi)    When I See Public Office Holders Misbehaving, Probably, they Do Not Have a Good Wife or a Good Marriage B As governor, I was on call 24/7 sometimes. I got very angry and could take my anger on anyone. So, my chief of protocol bore the brunt one day. I had a reception for guests and he placed them in rooms, not the way I would have done it, but he didn’t do anything wrong. He used his own judgment. I would have done it the other way, but I over-reacted.

 AS THE MANAGER OF HER HUSBAND – FORCED DONALD DUKE TO APOLOGISE TO ONE OF THEIR AIDES:   Former Governor Duke continued: I spoke very harshly to him. While I was doing this, my wife walked in and didn’t say a word. She goes in, does some other things in my office and left. When I got back home in the evening, I’d forgotten about it. It’s just a normal event in the day. And she (Onari)  said to me, the way I spoke to this guy was wrong and that I had to go and apologise to him. She said I had no reason to speak to anyone like that. I said, what! He did this and she said, ‘Yes, I heard everything.  The way you would have done it was different, but he didn’t do a bad thing. He used his discretion. So, what are you going to do? You have destroyed that. Tomorrow, he is not going to do anything discretionally.  He would wait for orders and then you will get irritated at that. You have made him lose his self-confidence and that is wrong. You need to go and apologize to him.

 UNTHINKABLE!  Why should you speak to someone like that? Because you are governor?’  I ignored her. I was in my room still fuming and she came back and said I had to do it that night and not tomorrow because I kept saying I would do it tomorrow. She (Onari Duke) said no, tonight. That he was not going to sleep well and so I did not have the right to sleep well when he was not sleeping well. I said OK. We got into the car and we drove to his house. I knocked on the door. His wife turned in. They were about to go to bed. She was in her nightgown. She saw me and was scared with the expression of, ‘Okay, you have come to fire my husband finally’

.TERRIFIED AIDE & THE GOVERNOR  The guy came downstairs, petrified. My wife and I walked in. The wife wanted to get up and leave. I told the guy I came to apologize for my rude and harsh behaviour towards him and I told him am sorry. They all got emotional but I got relief. It was like a load had been taken off me. I still get upset with things going up wrong, but I don’t get to a point I feel I am too big to say sorry.  And I am learning to treat people better. You can be referred to as your excellency today, but, the best, it will only last 8 years.  Senator?

Minister? It isn’t forever . Permanent Secretary isn’t permanent and we all know it’s just a title and not a life-long position, Director,  CEO?, DG  etc?  Life is a stage, a platform for services unto God.’ – DONALD DUKE  

So let everyone who stands take heed

MENTORING: Mrs. Duke says she is very much interested in mentoring women for future leadership roles, she says, “I don’t think women are less than men, I don’t also think that we should be pitied. I don’t want to fill a vacant position because they are looking for a woman to fill that position. I want to fill a position that is vacant because I am competent to hold that office.’’ On the success of the union, she says, “If you love God and love the fact that He loves marriage, it puts your union in a cruise state. When you approach marriage from that perspective, you will begin to appreciate your partner and overlook his errors because we are all humans after all.”

God bless you richly.                  

Ponder over this and make amends.

 

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